The Abilities of A Selfish Being

by Violet

I am. And I can be. So I did. Again.

Loving her pushed my deterred soul to dwell on whatever came my way. Seemingly wide and endless yet it all fell back down to its main stream of: how she made me feel. Repetitively for almost twelve months now.. However, As I just found glimpses of logic about it, it went away just as rapidly. Or so I deeply hope.

To put it into words is what I now wish would be the first pillar that would help me eventually in achieving how to come back down to my vessel.

So let’s get to it; Imagine living with no senses, simply impossible for someone who’s been around for 20 years, and counting, ever so dependent on them right? wrong. Because that is exactly how I felt, once life introduced me to her.. Angel. 

A literal shock ignited my soul to wander a little too far off to where I am still currently stranded. Ever so blissful ..Till this day.

At first it was too hard to comprehend; too many things flashed at once and continued to do so for way too long! yet surely, but gradually it was achieved. My “senses” are now no longer new, no longer in pursuit for whatever, conquered by instincts’ true purpose. Natural. Moreover, my soul felt like it was finally paid its rightful debt of duty to commence within the norms of living; Another right that also felt long lost for too long. Again, natural.

Yes, due to our “most admirable trait” as humankind; one must adapt. Always. Or suffer the consequence and parish. Therefore, by basic instinct, while I was still somehow attached to my organic existence, it kicked in, and it fought.. Mercilessly, to obtain what kept it going. Adapting ever so gracefully.

In ironic growth that is where instinct became victorious. A hopeless-romantic’s worst fear. The end of all love.

And there it was. The abrupt end of my so called Angel.