إنه مجرد وهم

expressive free-writing blog. all rights reserved to Reem AL-Abdullah, 2019(c)

Month: June, 2016


Tears that burn my cheeks,

habits that are nothing like me whatsoever are now, oddly enough, all that I am made up of.

Fears, lots and lots of those, especially.

The cause? my one and only regret; you.

I had hoped and prayed I was wrong about you; even when dumb lyrics of an old song told me otherwise; even when every fucking signal of this dumb, random universe tried to deter me from you. I thought “the harder the more worth it”.. Well I’m surely not the one laughing now.

Tonight I had lost, the very last piece of my heart on a summer. How unpredicted-scoff-

Therefore, tonight I will declare that in my final defeat I have no other choice but to surrender. 

I am now a cowering shadow. Always and forever opposing to the sun; surrounded by it maybe, but never fortunate enough to get a taste of it myself.

I don’t know if I forgive you yet; cause I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to forget you.

I sure hope so though.

I sure hope so..


what do you call us

feeling like an orphan when both parents are alive

feeling like an only child when you got 8 other siblings 

feeling like you come from a small tree where in reality its branches are spreading across all seven skies and its roots comes from all over; consuming the glob!

“ungrateful bastard” they murmured as if loneliness only comes over those supposedly lacking

at least you get to dream and wonder maybe if you had them they would’ve probably loved you.

/shh you’re not allowed to complain

I move too fast

/it’s so awful to miss. it’s even worse when it’s always everyone but you that crosses my path as I blindly move forward; but only in the darkness of the night.

/our days are numbered and I don’t know whether I should run till I find you again or to stop and pretend life would wait alongside me.

/will you come from behind this time? 

hold on to me this time, will you? if only you do.


I opened up my heart in order to let you go; I freed you, consequently all the things that made me who I am, too.at first it was terrifying; I can’t lie. I wondered if I should’ve kept you a little longer.. but it was too late for all the wonder in the world, “I’m an empty shell” my walls screamed! then I wept for all that I’ve lost. not knowing I’ve created an ocean once more..

the tide is flowing back in, filling me up; I’m becoming brand new. again.