It goes as follows,
First I speak up;
“you’re too technical”, “too objective”, “you’re the one who’s unrealistic”
and then follows
all their emitted subjective, shallow opinions; I absorb it and feel it; empathise too much with it.
I become it, them.
I begin to self-loath; hate my own existence cause that what’s looking through their eyes feels like.
and as much as I’d like to think that I appreciate myself; I become more eager to end it all, definitively.
for feeling too conflicted? perhaps.
The demons come out and start drowning me inside out; then just from around.
they scream, plea and cry with love and hate all at once; all at once!
then comes the worst of all.. judgmental numbness..
there’s no going back now.
I Hate You, Dear Self..
no, no; I hate them.
so let go, run.