إنه مجرد وهم

expressive free-writing blog. all rights reserved to Reem AL-Abdullah, 2018(c)

Month: November, 2017

home

i physically want to crawl on all fours till i find your arms, unhinge my jaws and devour your chest, till i find home, drown myself in your fears; that’s where i belong. i might be your worst nightmare, but that only means you’re my safety, lover. i don’t understand most of what goes around me; the world is confusingly upside-down, most of the time. that’s why i hold on tightly to what i barely comprehend, that being you, as you scream pleading for our soundings to turn a one eighty, back to your heaven; to my living hell. 

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“shut up”

my teeth are clinched whenever my mouth is shut; like floodgates holding back the constant overflow of thought and emotion; my words.

the headache spreads to my nerves and throughout my body, the need to speak up of my existence is constant.

“i’m here, i’m here! I’M HERE!”

i get it, most of all, they do, too.

but my teeth are clinched whenever my lips are still. which tampers with my nature and being. as if in protest my body resists itself; i am not used to being idle nor is my tongue.

i unhinge my skull’s crushing, in fear,

what if my gritting teeth fall apart and my gates would collapse and i am silenced forevermore?